You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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