I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
