It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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