He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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