I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
