I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
