Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
