have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
