So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
