Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
