I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
