Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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