you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
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Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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