It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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