I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
