11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
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We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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