she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
try to milk me bitch
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