I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
