last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
