I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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