I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
