Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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