I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He did a backflip because drugs
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