Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
