In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
