ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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