Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Enjoy the penises
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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