I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
