I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
