he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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