I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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