I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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