That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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