you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
