you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
