i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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