i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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