When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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