she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
