Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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