1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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