Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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