Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
