im drinking this country out of the recession.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You smell like stripper and shame
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
