who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
