I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
