I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize