just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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