he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
