They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
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i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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