we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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