She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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