he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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