Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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