Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
