HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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