And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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