was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
