How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
