even my farts smell like vagina
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
