I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
nutella sex= disaster
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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