he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
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finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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