Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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