just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
