Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
