Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
