why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
